Shithole D.C. pizza

Mario’s, Arlington Va.

I had to make a stop at this place after hearing a ton about it from a friend that grew up in Arlington.  Apparently this was the place where everyone went after late nights at the bar to slam some sloppy slices and get into a drunken brawl.

Mario’s does Sicilian by the slice and has a ton of it on standby for you to choose your toppings.  I tried a pepperoni and a Hawaiian.

The slices were sloppy as hell but held up just fine when you pick them up.  The sauce is cheap and sweet, the cheese is goopy and reminiscent of a high school cafeteria’s mozzarella, and the toppings are clearly pre-packaged and/or canned, but the stuff is very satisfying.  The crust has an oddly pleasant toughness to it and one slice does a good job of filling you up.

Mario’s makes no claims on having excellent stuff.  It’s simply a quick stop close to the metro station where you can get a fix and be on your way.  I bet this place is rad as hell late on weekend nights too.

Jumbo Slice, DC

I had to check out Jumbo Slice, this was one of the places every D.C. native talks about.  They never speak of the quality, only the sheer size of these slices.  They’re huge, like eating a large pizza by yourself.  I really want to see the entire pie that they’re cut from.

The shit honestly sucks.  The crust is like holding a vinyl mat, it’s unusually strong and void of flavor.  The rest of it tastes like a bad Assante’s pie.  I imagine this place is a pretty popular late night stop as well, but the sheer size of this thing makes me wonder if Jumbo Slice is only in the business of novelty.  There is no easy or convenient way to carry or eat this thing.  A mess waiting to happen but six bucks for a slice would more than fill a drunk bar patron’s sloshy stomach in the wee hours of the morning.

My next D.C. trip will be sure to include some of the nicer pizza places.  Jumbo Slice definitely made my bowels move uncomfortably.